F*ing Grizzlies. - I am not a suicidal person. One could make the argument that the eating disordered are, by nature, passively suicidal. I would beg to differ- I starve my...
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Motivation; Used to do
I used to run.
I used to be in shape. I used to seek out adventure or meet it head-long when it found me.
I used to play with the kids. I used to grab a longboard when Anna wanted to go for a bike ride. I used to kick the soccer ball, play tag or field hockey one-on-one in the back yard.
I used to be interesting. I used to be interested. I used to beat the sunrise up and smile at it with my eyes.
I used to have a couch without an ass-print on it. I used to not watch too many TV shows. I used to be mobile. I used to go mobile.
I used to connect towns with my feet. I used to run through the woods like a kid. My miles in the morning used to be a source of pride. I used to be proud. And humble. And not numb.
I used to run. I used to do.
Those thoughts and others like them are what go through my head when I decide to make and keep a date with myself to run 7.5 miles on New Year's Day, 2011. A source of motivation to push myself, to fight against complacency. To seek and create my own discipline, to go after the feeling that comes with running and with finishing an hour run on a day when I don't have to run, but I want to.
It's not a long run or a memorable one, but it's a run. It helps me think about goals for myself, for running, for work, for life and what I am going to do to move closer to them.
Running connects me to the road, to the town, to the water, to the trees, to what I encounter on my run. It connects me to my mind, to my body, to my will, to my soul, over the course of an out and back route that I have run more times than I can count.
Running lets me start 2011 the way I want to. On my terms. It is a prayer. Of thanks. Of hope. Of looking forward. Of being present.
I see you, 2011. Welcome. Let's dance. Check that. I don't dance much. Let's go for a run.
* Co-posted at Rise Up Runners